Monthly Archives: November 2012

Redeem The Day

Yesterday I wrote a little blog on redemption which can be found here here.

Today, I wanted to write a little about redemption in the context of mental illness. In particular, the redemption of memories and days.

So often, the memories of the most painful days and events can leave an open wound. We may be able to come to terms with what happened, but as an anniversary rolls around again, we can be doubled over with the pain all over again – as fresh as that first time. We can dread the day coming, because we fear the pain that is linked to it.

Today it will be six years since one of the worst days of my life. It was a day which left an indelible mark on me, and every year since it has felt like I am forcing myself to relieve the pain and shame of that day all over again.

And in the intervening years, the date has sent me reeling.

But then, as I having been reflecting on God as Redeemer, I’ve come to the conclusion that if God can redeem the worst of us, the worst of humanity – He can redeem a date.

He can make a day which nearly destroys – into a day which sparks something new – but only if we let Him.

One of my favourite passages in the Bible is found in Joel 2:25-27 which says:

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm[b]
my great army that I sent among you.
26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
27 Then you will know that I am in Israel,
that I am the Lord your God,
and that there is no other;
never again will my people be shamed.”

Here God promises the restoration and redemption of years of difficulty – even when sometimes that difficulty is a result of our own sins and mistakes.

Redemption is an act of mighty grace.

Redemption isn’t forgetting what has passed – but a payment – and the debt of our sin is transformed by the blood of Christ.

Our shame is redeemed by His grace.

Our pain is redeemed by His compassion.

Redemption doesn’t mean that we never find things difficult. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t a tinge of sadness, but it does mean being able to have hope in the future, despite all that has passed.

Redemption means not letting what has passed, spoil what is in store for us.

So far, God is redeeming this date for me, it’s the ‘best’ 29th November I’ve had since 2006.

There is a Redeemer.

We just have to let Him do His redeeming work.

Saved Despite Scars

I see the cross
Through blades
Trapping me
I can’t reach out
Can’t lay my burdens down
Without reaching for the old ways

I remember His blood
Sign of His grace

Yet I call to mind
Those dark nights
When I reached first
For the danger of the blade

My shame and desire
Block the Holy
Dare not reach out
For the Father’s arms
When I still see the scars
On my own, a reminder of pain

And yet.
It is the cross
Which reminds me
I’m saved from shame
And made new by His grace

My wounds are healed by His.
A poem reflecting on the guilt so often felt by those who are, or have struggled with self-harm. Author Anonymous.